You get a call from your p.r. firm: “Can you be on ‘Morning Call’ tomorrow around 9 a.m.?” The answer to this question, unless you will be on an airplane at that time, is “Yes.” Dentist appointments, meetings with the CEO, whatever — it all gets rescheduled for that t.v. slot.
If you’re lucky, the topic under discussion is one you already know a lot about — like the business of Blackstone, say. You talk to the segment producer, who writes down a lot of what you say to frame the conversation you’ll have with the anchor tomorrow. Sometimes, you talk or trade e-mails with the anchor ahead of time, which gives you a chance to hammer out a specific order for specific questions to be asked. Sometimes, you just have a general idea of what to work on.
You tell some of your co-workers, you send a few e-mails to family. Then you start reading everything you can — way too much — in hopes that you’ll cover everything you need to in time for your spot. You stop reading when you already know everything contained in the nth story you read on the topic.
Long after you meant to, and hours after you went to bed, you finally fall asleep. You probably wake up too early, too. You try to avoid drinking too much coffee, and take an unusual amount of interest in your grooming habits and the wrinkles in your nice shirt. You care more than usual about how quickly you make it through the long string of traffic lights on your way downtown.
You’re relieved to find a good parking place just across the street from the studio, and relieved that you remembered to load up on quarters from the change jar at home. You pump in two hours’ worth of quarters into the meter, even though you know you’ll never need that long.
When you get upstairs, you catch up with your ultracool camera-operator/producer pal — it’s been a year since you’ve seen him, but it’s like nothing’s changed. Use the head, get some powder on your face, change into your nice shirt, drink water. Your friend sits you in the chair, adjusts the lights and the camera, rigs you up with an earpiece and a mic. You both crack jokes. You wait. You hope you’ve prepared enough.
Ten minutes before your spot, you start hearing the show live over your earpiece. You turn down the volume a bit and go back to chatting with your friend. A few minutes later, a disembodied voice breaks in over the t.v. chatter, talking to you directly. She says you look great (you can’t see her, or a monitor of yourself), and then asks you to count to ten. She tells you which anchor will be talking with you, and when you ask her if there’s another guest on, she tells you the name of somebody like, oh, this guy. No pressure.
The time comes, and you smile while you stare at the camera, which is tougher to do because you’ve had your glasses off for 15 minutes. The anchor asks you a question, which you try to answer using the clever phrases you thought up last night and early this morning. You’re relieved when you find that your view basically agrees with the other expert’s, because there won’t be a rivalry between you during the spot. You listen to his answer, then shift back into gear when it’s your turn to talk. You try to sound like you know what you’re talking about, even when you know you know what you’re talking about.
And then it’s over. You sit still until the mic and camera are dead, then you wipe off the makeup, change shirts, shoot the bull with your buddy for a couple of minutes, and go get lunch. You wait for (hope for) the hero’s welcome when you get back to the office. And then you go on with your real life.